Happiness is an Island Travel Adventure

In my own happiness project, one of the most remarkable insights I’ve found is-

“Money can buy you happiness...if you spend it on experience, not stuff .”

I’ve been doing it all wrong! As soon as I started earning, my attitude on money was to save it all for the future! Both upbringing and my personality have contributed immensely to this attitude about money.

I grew up in what may be considered lower middle class family in the Philippines and born to parents who by hard work and sheer determination managed to provide their five children with the finest education possible…producing a scientist/educator, a livestock researcher, a medical doctor, a bank manager, and a naval/military officer. Of course, it helped to have the genes on obedience, cooperation and intelligence expressed and nurtured in the family and community.

We were brought up to shun wasteful living, only spend on bare necessities, and invest on real estate and education.  And my parents really walked their talk (at times, even to an extreme point, which itself can be a topic for another hub or blog).  So, it didn’t occur to me to not follow their lead as they have credibility and persistence.

My personality is also compatible with frugal unostentatious living (of course, you may say as it is a product of my upbringing as well).  I am moderate, cautious, self-restrained and more often than not see my glass as half empty.  So I scrimp on myself on almost anything, and unfortunately in certain instances, on my loved ones as well. 

This attitude on money had resulted in some desirable outcomes. While studying, I was able to assist my parents by depending less on them and staying within budget, which came mostly from stipend from scholarships. I was able to travel to Frankfurt, Munich, Paris, the region in southern France and northern Spain, Singapore, Quebec, Montreal, Guelph and Toronto while I studied for five years at Cornell University in upstate New York through an assistantship. I acquired some gadgets that a single guy would love to have, but again mainly for practical and academic reasons.

In less than five years after my wife and I decided to leave the academe and try the industry, we built a house that we love in a gated village, bought a nice family car and sent our kids to the only true Montessori school in the city and paid double the usual private school tuition for it.

All good but the list above also meant much deprivation in the here and now to save for the future.

While in the United States, instead of knowing a lot more about the country by experiencing different regions, I limited myself to going to places that is “required” of me such as a trip to the Florida Keys where a bunch of us graduate students with our two Professors hit the road for a Field Ecology course in the Sunshine State, or my summer research projects in Connecticut and Rhode Island. For five years, I only experienced or visited (i.e. stayed a significant number of days) five states: New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Florida, Maryland, and two Canadian provinces: Quebec and Ontario, all in the east coast. My travels in Europe were mostly very short stays (a few hours to a few days) and not really to experience life in those places but to watch and take photographs- i.e. I was very much detached from the place. Come to think of it, those were more of experiences about the act of traveling and being a tourist, and not really experiences on the life, culture and whatever the place I visited had to offer.

As for the almost eleven years of our married life, my wife and I only had one vacation to a nice resort in Bohol. And it only happened because my wife prescribed a break from stress at work. And I was really thankful for her insistence or I would have not lasted in my previous job. We both were paid well for our middle management positions so we were able to afford the house, car, etc. and yet we were depriving ourselves so much...we were postponing our happiness.

In my analysis, we not only follow and relied on the wisdom of our parents, we also inadvertently bought the biggest trophies for young professionals- i.e. owning a big house and a nice car. Looking back, we were holding back spending and putting money in the bank for a while. It was on the advice of my parents who saw that we were better off investing on a property than renting an apartment that we found the courage to build a house for our growing family. This also resolved whether or not we’re settling down in Davao.

Although the impetus for owning a house were to settle down and invest our savings wisely, it may seem like we were also expressing our desire to improve social status or sending signals about our buying power and good tastes (unconsciously perhaps as we were really leading a frugal life). Indeed that statement, which was unintended (I again emphasize), was loud and clear for people around us that we became the envy of colleagues, even to the older, more senior ones that were not as daring as to dive into a huge investment/commitment like owning a house early in life.

This was of course not healthy for our relationships with others, as it triggered comparison, which is more likely to happen with material possessions as explained in Happiness: a buyer’s guide. Material possessions are also not good for personal happiness as pleasure neurons may become “habituated” to what is at hand and might eventually lead to a desire for better and more expensive stuff in order to be happy. Unfortunately, very few can sustain this upward spiral of expensive craving for the best and novel stuff.

As for my days abroad, I now realized that the “being there” and the “proof of being there” (photos) were what was driving my travels to Europe. So it was still, unconsciously, about trophies and showing off buying power than really experiencing the world and sharing that experience with someone.

The point is that it is experience or memory and relationships that contribute to long-lasting happiness and not material possessions. These experiences could be as simple as treating a friend to lunch or more elaborate like taking the whole family to an island travel adventure.

As blogged by Mama Sez when our countdown began a few days ago, we resolved to correct this extreme focus on saving money, and instead spend on what is currently important for our family’s well-being such as experiences to share. We have given ourselves permission to be happy now!

The opportunity to finally do what we’ve been dreaming of doing, i.e. to explore the Philippines as a family by traveling by land, just presented itself a few weeks ago. Mama Sez and I currently have no other commitments except for blogging and writing online, which can be done almost anywhere (and I am very thankful every day for this). So as soon as school ends for summer break in late March, we are off to our Island Travel Adventure… a two-month summer vacation for the whole family!

The general plan is to drive north to Los Banos, Laguna in the Island of Luzon (just 50 km south of Manila) from Davao City in the island of Mindanao using the Eastern Nautical Highway through the twin islands of Leyte and Samar, and the Bicol region. We will spend much of our vacation time in Luzon, also because of family events, milestones and commitments, including exercising our right to vote in the national election in May, and we will explore Southern Tagalog, Central Luzon and all the way to Northern Luzon. In May, we will travel back south through the Western Nautical Highway that goes through the islands of Mindoro, Panay (where the famous Boracay is located) and Negros in the Visayas. Then explore the western side of Mindanao (including Dakak) before heading back to Davao City, which is in southern Mindanao.

Sounds like a lot of traveling, isn’t it? But it’ll be worth all the investment. Why?

1. We are now happily anticipating the travel. We have announced our travel plans to the kids, our relatives, friends and followers. And we’re all very happy for it. Hey, the anticipation could be as pleasant as or even better an experience than actually doing it!
2. We would see many new places and learn a lot about people and culture. We believe that education for our kids and ourselves extends beyond the classroom, books or the internet.
3. We would experience all these together as a family. Time spent with our kids in their most impressionable stage is the best investment as parents. We are aware that this stage is short, so we would relish this period while we can. I want to share with you a one-minute video The Years Are Short to bring home this point.
   
4. We would reconnect with friends and relatives, and establish new relationships. As early as the start of this year, we’ve been getting in touch with friends and relatives to inform them of our intention to visit. We hope that in most places we would visit, we would see many of them in their respective towns or cities.
5. We would recall, talk about and relive our experiences for many years to come. I am sure we would count much of this adventure as among the happiest in our memories and our kids would bear witness to our parenting efforts.

All five are important in sustaining happiness in the long-term. So, that’s as good as it gets…for an investment on happiness and well-being that could last a lifetime.

So, why don’t you join us and follow our family adventure.  It's your chance to see the many beautiful places and faces in the Philippines…and we’ll also have lots to talk about and share for a long time.